It’s essential for every person, neurodivergent or not, to practice self-advocacy in their personal and professional life. However, if the idea seems great in theory but hard to put into action—read on—please—this is for you.
Self-advocacy is important all year round, but as we approach the holiday season, we thought this would be the perfect time to remind everyone to take it easy on themselves. Focus on what is really important and cherish what you have. Your health and well-being is imperative for a successful you.
What is Self-Advocacy
While we would love others to advocate for us all the time, we must regularly advocate for ourselves. We are the ones who truly know what we need and when we need it, so it’s vital to address those things in real-time or when we are comfortable.
We should note that advocacy supports an outside cause or group, but we specifically speak to self-advocacy in this article. We are not implying people should not advocate for causes they believe in—just that one of those causes should be themselves.
Let’s address misconceptions about self-advocacy.
Self-advocacy does not mean you are:
Acting selfish.
Being a bad friend/parent/spouse.
Letting others down.
Ignoring problems.
Hurting others by loving yourself.
Demanding or “being a diva.”
What self-advocacy is:
Understanding your needs and when you need extra help.
Knowing the type of support you need for different situations.
Communicating these needs to others.
Being perpetually altruistic is not a healthy way to live. Yes, it’s important to think of other people and how your actions and words affect them, but you cannot always put others' needs before yours. You must learn how to balance empowering others and empowering yourself.
Always treat others with compassion and kindness — but open yourself up to accept that same compassion. It’s vital for our mental and physical health to know when we need to speak up, step back, and take care of ourselves. The old adage is true — only then can we take care of others.
Self-Disclosure and Requesting What You Need
If you are neurodivergent, self-disclosure is the next step to self-advocacy. Self-disclosure can mean sharing with employers, coworkers, friends, and family. Some may find it challenging to share such a personal aspect of themselves. This is a decision only you can make.
When you are neurodivergent, you have two options:
Let people know you are neurodivergent.
Keep this fact to yourself.
There are variations in both of these options. If you choose to self-disclose, there are different levels of what you can reveal about your condition.
Quite simply, self-advocacy is the act of requesting our needs are met. Creating a foundation of understanding is critical to self-advocacy, but it is possible to advocate for yourself without disclosure; however, you must be open to the possibility of people asking, “Why?”
Of course, the type of exception will most likely affect this. Is your ask big or small? If you ask for time to process information, odds are, no one would bat an eye. If you tell people you’ll be late every day — this will warrant follow-ups. While the last example is extreme, consider what considerations you need and what level you are willing to disclose. A more quiet office space,
You do not need to disclose your condition to everyone, but perhaps a manager or other leader is a good work ally. Only you can determine this. Remember that neurodivergence is a protected class in the United States under the ADA. If you meet the ADA definition of a disability and need work accommodations to perform your work, you are within your legal rights to ask. It is illegal for you to be penalized for being neurodivergent., but you must also ask for reasonable accommodations or considerations.
Education
While it’s not our job to educate the world on our lives or our condition, it’s also not the world's job to educate themselves on it. When I tell people I process information differently, another neurodivergent person might immediately nod with empathy and understanding. A neurotypical person, however, might be left wondering, “What does that mean exactly?” There are many ways to interpret neurodiverse challenges, and we must remember that neurotypical people have never experienced these problems in the way we do.
When you choose to self-disclose and advocate for yourself, you may need to educate those around you on what your needs are and what some neurodivergent terms mean.
For myself, I say, “I process information differently. This is why I need more time to think about an answer or why I might ask more questions than others.” If you are sensitive to sounds, “I am sensitive to sound, to do my best work I need a quiet space with no interruptions.” If you switch that same scenario to friends, you could say, “I prefer not to go to because I have a hard time with loud sounds and strobe lights.”
Most people are understanding if you explain your situation. In my life, what I have found is that people are more likely to be upset if there isn’t a reason. There will always be that one person who acts put upon by you advocating for yourself, but remember, you can’t change who they are. We can only control our actions. If you advocate for yourself in a thoughtful and pleasant manner, you have nothing to worry about.
You are the center of your experience. Self-advocacy is not a luxury — it is a necessity. The more we, as a culture, begin to practice advocacy for our needs, the more other people will be open to the idea, as they will be advocating for themselves as well.
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